


come back to me, please

by sweetnpeachie



Series: kuroken week 2020 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Getting Back Together, Jealous Kuroo Tetsurou, M/M, Trans Kozume Kenma, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetnpeachie/pseuds/sweetnpeachie
Summary: after separating on tense terms as high school students, Kenma meets Kuroo again in the kitchen the morning after a one night stand with one of Kuroo's room mates but can their relationship be mended?Day Four: College / University au
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Series: kuroken week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702273
Kudos: 84
Collections: Kuroken Week 2020





	1. we meet again

**Author's Note:**

> check notes in chapter 2 for a warning, also wish I was in an au where I actually left myself enough time to not rush through the fics for this week but oh well
> 
> also mentions of kenma x terushima but it's just a hook up

When Kenma had been accepted into the university he had wanted it had been a miracle, the bad luck that had been following him around was finally doing him a favour and the share home he then applied to accepted him. Everyone living there were super accepting and nice, of course living with so many big personalities didn’t mean everyone always got along but there was never any harmful bullying or taunting to worry about.

All that good luck and he should have known it would go sour, only a few months into his new life back at school when they successfully managed to convince him to attend a party someone a few of them know was hosting. He didn’t have any assignments or tests to use as an excuse and obviously studying never stops but sometimes Kenma has to realize he needs to pick his battles, even when agreeing to go out means agreeing to getting dolled up.

“I wish Hinata would let me dress him up like this.”

“That dumbass can barely dress himself.”  


One of the things he had quickly learnt after sharing his secret was everyone in the house had their own things they were worried about, like Atsumu Miya and Tobio Kageyama both share a boyfriend named Hinata Shouyou they always fight over. Toru Oikawa has issues with cleanliness, so his body and bedroom need to meet his standards after an abusive relationship he had in the past hurt him, they’ve met his current boyfriend Iwaizumi who treats him so much better.

Resulting from a more reckless youth Keiji Akaashi struggles with a lot of physical injuries that have since healed but still ache from time to time, sometimes he will talk about how little he cared for his own well being while trying to escape an abusive father. Eita Semi has depressive episodes which leave him bedridden and in the dark for days, during that time they always do what they can to fit his needs and not overstep.

Feeling safe enough to tell them I’m trans was something Kenma hadn’t expected out of almost complete strangers but it had made him cry, bullying and the like were minimal only because he had someone protecting him in high school, so he was concerned being on his own. People have their things that make them nervous to tell other people in fear of their reactions, however they had all found each other for a reason and got along so well.

Some people may handle it differently but because make-up was never associated with who he was before Kenma has never struggled with wearing make-up, not that it happens particularly often but he can trust Oikawa to make him look good whenever he does. A golden look that makes him glow and shine, a bright orange crop top jumper and loose white pants finished with hold nail polish and the rest of the boys being proud of their work.

They had all gotten ready earlier than he had and as the clock displayed on his phone ticked by it was decided all of them would head out them, fortunately the night was comfortably cool as they headed to their destination. Besides his room mates and their partners, Kenma hadn’t really made a very large effort to make connections with people so he wasn’t actually too sure who Bokuto was, but he would soon enough.

“Can’t believe you two aren’t dating Akaashi.”

“Until he met me, he hadn’t ever been attracted to a guy before, he might just be curious.”

“Iwa-chan said he isn’t the kind of person to do something half-heartedly, maybe he’s worried that you want someone with more experience.”

Relaxing finally just listening to his room mates talking around them until the sound of very, very loud music could be heard, and they were still at least a street away from the house which is when he honestly started regretting his choices. Continuing on wasn’t really his choice to make as he was dragged along and they didn’t let go even when they all made it inside, holding hands as they made their way from the front further into the house.

Never been one to dance but dragged onto the dance floor with music pounding through him had Kenma moving at least a little bit, on top of that his friends were all around him enjoying their time as well. The couples all started making their appearances as Hinata and Iwaizumi showed up, both of them looking out of place at a university party but it was nice having them there, Hinata knows how to brighten a room.

“Your first time at one of Bokuto’s parties? I haven’t seen you around before.”

Having someone come up to him to talk was not something Kenma had expected to happen nor was he mentally prepared for this, but he did his best to smile, shaking his head with the taller boy took as an answer and nodded his head. A shaved undercut with dyed hair on top, every time he stuck his tongue out to wet his lips Kenma could see the shine of a metal ball resting in the centre, it was a little embarrassing how distracted he got.

The effortless way he smiles and the loud but somehow attractive way he laughs has Kenma gravitating towards him, maybe he is really attracted to him or maybe he is just a distraction but either way they both ended up on a very stained couch. Hands on the wall behind him as they made out, Terushima as he introduced himself as, brought his hands around and slid them down his back until they came to rest on his ass.

Other people moved to leave space on the couch between them but otherwise continuing on with their conversations, if all of Kenma’s friends got to experience things like this and enjoy themselves then why should Kenma be any different. No reason to worry as he dives headfirst without much more than a quick thought on the matter, he is enjoying himself and finally ‘acting out’ as him mum would fondly say which isn’t something he ever did in high school.

Between kisses and wondering hands they managed to get some words in, finding a little bit more about each other before it went any further and that meant Kenma having to disclose something personal once again. Using up the last of his luck Terushima reacted incredibly well and politely asked if he felt comfortable enough to continue upstairs, giggling as he was lifted into the air and carried away once he convinced him he was.

Passing Akaashi in the hallway with his hand down Bokuto’s pants and exchanging words through quick looks before moving on, being led by the hand past a row of bedrooms with names on them that he didn’t bother to look at. There were probably more people living in this place then their own shared home with how big the place stretches and all the bedrooms they walked by, not really caring about that right now so he pushed it from his mind.

It had been awhile since he spent his time so intimately with someone but the rush of ecstasy he felt ignoring the logical side of his brain and just experiencing was incredible, not one to make a habit out of things like this so he wanted to enjoy himself while it lasted. Tomorrow things would probably go back to normal, studying for tests and finishing off assignments living life like a stressed-out tired university student.

“Can spend the night here if you want, probably too late to head back now anyway.”

Not the most convincing argument but well Kenma was in fact pretty worn out and it was most definitely too late to walk back by himself, so he slept in a stranger’s bed wearing pyjama pants way too big for him. Passing out himself not long after Terushima had with one wish in his mind that he isn’t forced to wake up too early only to be kicked out the house, not even if it saves him having to do an awkward walk of shame in front of strangers.

Waking up the next morning and quickly shooting up in bed, disorientated and feeling too warm under what felt like at least two thick blankets and looking around the room, based on the state he was in fact in the room of a messy university boy. Posters haphazardly posted up on the wall and way too any bowls and plates on the nightstand, looking over at the nightstand in question had him reading the time.

“It’s ten thirty?”

Pushing aside the blanket and almost tripping over the mess covering the floor, Kenma cautiously made his way out of the bedroom in nothing but pyjama pants which he has to keep pushing up, so he doesn’t trip himself up. The hallways didn’t feel this easy to navigate through last night but then it had been filled full of people they had to navigate around, he has yet to spot anyone standing around and thankfully hasn’t had to have any awkward conversations.

Quietly moving around the house and carefully peering into the rooms before making it to the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen table wearing nothing but underwear and eating a pancake with his bare hands. Somehow, he managed to hear Kenma’s almost silent entry and turned around with a smile as he invites him over, over at the stove thankfully stood a familiar figure as Akaashi worked the pan producing fluffy pancakes.

“Never make us pancakes Akaashi.”

“Our house is full of capable people who can cook for themselves, these boys have nearly burnt the kitchen down and blown up every utility possible.”

Feeling comfortable as he hoists himself up onto the kitchen counter near where the pancakes are being made, handed the next perfected warm pancake and slipping it onto a plate to eat with a fork and knife unlike the wild animal over at the table. More boys started filtering into the room and not that he usually feels the need to cover himself up, but boys like this tend to not be completely accepting although Terushima had been an exception.

Noticing his discomfort, the taller boy comes over to stand between his legs, smiling down at him before stealing pancakes from his stack if he didn’t have a whole bunch of his own but the reassuring hand resting on his thigh made it okay. No offense to the tall, perfectly muscles boy standing before him but Kenma didn’t have plans to continue this affair after this, hopefully Terushima feels the same way and was just being polite.

As Kenma mulled over his thoughts trying to figure out how everyone else seemed to do this so easy more boys seemed to come in, the ones before hadn’t caught his attention but he could hear Bokuto, so he looked up. Unfortunately, Bokuto wasn’t the only one he recognized, and he froze in a moment of absolute baffling shock, staring directly into the eyes of someone who somehow felt like his most familiar person and a complete stranger.  
“Kenma?”

“Kuroo?”

“Bro you know Akaashi’s friend? Why didn’t you say so?”

“I-I really just, oh god.”

Nobody was prepared for how silent the kitchen became after that and the rising tension filling the air making everyone uncomfortable, except Kenma couldn’t think about anyone else right now with his thoughts so confusing. Head pounding as he stares at the single person, he hadn’t wanted to come across now or ever for that matter, the one person who had made him feel so messed up and lonely the past few years.

Moving off of the counter and shaking those memories from the past out of his mind, asking if it was okay if he went back up and grabbed his clothes to Terushima and asking Akaashi if it was okay – the two of them leaving now. Spending the day with Bokuto was thankfully less important then getting his friend out of this situation, forcing themselves through the doorway and dodging Kuroo who tried and failed to grab his arm to stop him from leaving. 

Throwing on what he had been wearing last night, tying his hair back up while he followed his friend back through the house and towards the front door only to be stopped by Kuroo one more time who looked desperately confused. Opening and closing his mouth over again and again, eyebrows drawn down with a confused look as if he couldn’t believe Kenma was in front of him let alone close enough to grab with his hand.

“We aren’t doing this right now.”

“Can we just talk-,”

“Really nothing for us to talk about, made your thoughts very clear when you left me in high school.”

“Kenma I’m really sorry but I can explain it all if you’d just talk to me.”

“Maybe you can go talk to Yuki instead?”

“If it makes you feel any better, we broke up a while ago.”

For Kenma he has never been a morning person and so many conflicting feelings so early in the morning didn’t make him particularly happy about anything, getting his arm free but standing his ground Kenma told him that no, in fact it did not make him feel any better. That he hopes she was treated better than he was though when they broke up, not giving him the chance to respond before leaving the house with Akaashi close by.

After he had left the house all the boys were still a little shocked at what had gone down, nobody wanted to be the one who started a conversation following a confrontation like that, well except for Bokuto who started talking about how delicious the pancakes were. Most people would assume that he didn’t care but he was planning to take his best friend aside later when everyone was gone, they needed to talk majorly.

“You let a boy like that go Kuroo, didn’t take you for a fool.”

Before anyone could jump to his defence about this not being the time Kuroo stopped them, a look of defeat on his face as he continued to stare in the direction that Kenma had just left through like some lovesick maiden watching her husband leave for war again. Admitting that he was truly a fool before heading back upstairs, this wasn’t something he could handle on two hours of sleep and no coffee with a major hangover pounding in his skull.


	2. thank you, for coming for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fate seems to have tied these two together and they can't escape, if they talk it out with Kenma and Kuroo be able to mend their once flourishing relationship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> transphobic remarks used during the flashback from Kuroo's perspective directed towards Kenma by Kuroo's parents

The month following their initial meeting and Kenma managed to spot Kuroo almost everywhere they went but they never actually crossed paths, it was as if the fates were testing them to see if both of them could be left alone. Placing each other close by but not forcing them to interact any more than they already had at the party, neither of them could keep the other off their mind and it was inevitable that they finally broke.

Walking out from one of his lectures with Atsumu at his side going on and on about how proud of himself he was for beating Kageyama in rock paper scissors this morning, meaning the latter had to do the dishes. Being around talkative people can be tiring but his responses can be simple noises of acknowledgment or short sentences, so he doesn’t get too bothered, laughing when his room mate does an impression of Kageyama perfectly.

“Hey, hey Kenma! Can we talk?”

Ignoring the voice calling out to him was definitely an option, continuing to live his life pretending like the past doesn’t bother him and as if he doesn’t get a little excited every time, he sees messy black hair or shining mischievous cat like eyes. Honestly if he chose to continue how he was even Akaashi with all his never-ending patience would call him out on it, despite his stubbornness he really has missed Kuroo and talking could fix what was broken.

Saying goodbye to Atsumu who cautioned him to hear Kuroo out but not forgive him right off the bat before walking over to the man himself who was waiting patiently, a hopeful look on his face that Kenma wouldn’t leave him standing there. Unquestionably awkward trying to decide on a place to sit and talk at but they decided mutually on a cute little café that sells sweet drinks in long thin glasses, cats made out of foam on top.

Moving chunks of chocolate up through the straw and in his mouth, quickly going through his not too over the top but still incredibly sweet chocolate drink as he rests his hands comfortably on the glass and wetting his sleeves in the process. Looking up through thick lashes as Kuroo attempts to and fails to start the conversation while looking nervous, no human is perfect, but he has never seen someone as talkative as Kuroo fail to find words like this.

“When you left me, you really hurt me.”

A good enough place to start as any just being bluntly honest and addressing the main issue straight away because there was no point sugar coating it, long nails tapping against the glass as he watches his once best friend’s face drop. Quite frankly Kenma isn’t heartless and seeing Kuroo struggling does hurt him too but they needed to be honest about what happened, there was a lot of hurting he felt over the past few years too.

“No matter how many times I say it, sorry will never be enough but from the bottom of my heart you have to believe me that I am truly sorry for how I handled the situation, I didn’t do the best thing but I promise you there was a reason.”

“You’ll tell me this time though, no lying or leaving anything out?”

“It will hurt you, but I know now that you are strong enough to hear this, I hope you don’t let what you hear affect you.”

“Just trust in me and tell me.”

“Okay so it started getting worse during my third year-,”

_Bringing Kenma along to volleyball practise always meant that he had to show off, hitting the ball with enough force to knock away his opponents and score point after point until they were racked up in their favour. A rival school had come over to practise and Nekoma were taking it as serious as always, never letting an opportunity like a practise match go to waste as they used their time to train and improve their skills._

_“From your father I heard you managed to get accepted into the sports program at the university you were aiming for, I must say congratulations, but I had the upmost faith in you captain.”_

_Volleyball had always been something he enjoyed, the saw feeling in his fingers after training hard and the ache in his body after a hard-won match, but he forced himself to be the best for his parents who took this opportunity to make him a true sportsman. Wanting him to become an athlete that becomes well known and brings in a steady stream of cash, the two of them deciding how much of a cut they will get as the ones guiding him through his dream._

_Training to become the best and becoming a household name weren’t bad dreams to have even though they were created by his parents, fabricated to control him to their will but the real issue was when they spoke about his image. Males didn’t have to worry about playing while pregnant so it would be smart to marry him off early to some pretty little thing, have a few kids and carry on their name with success._

_What threw a wrench into their plans was the existence of Kenma Kozume, the childhood friend of their prize-winning son and it had been bad enough when that was all he was but then he had the audacity to become Kuroo’s boyfriend. A tranny was not a fit for a son like their own and he would do nothing more than taint his image, it would never be good enough and barely passed for anything more than trash on a good day._

_“My future you can both control with my job, my money and whatever but you aren’t interfering in my love life because that’s where I draw the line, Kenma is worth more to me then your or my dreams and I would give everything up for him without a second thought.”_

_A while following that argument had been tense in the household but otherwise nothing really happened to worry Kuroo who continued his routine, practising volleyball, studying in school and treating his boyfriend whenever he could. Not bringing him over to the house in fear of his parents doing or saying something horrible inhumane, going over to his Kenma’s house and going out for dates would have to be good enough._

_“Pick son, and hope you make a decision you won’t regret.”_

_Coming home to his parents sternly forcing him into yet another argument, demanding he listen to them and make a choice that would affect not just his own life but also the life of Kenma whose place in Kuroo’s heart disgusted them. Either become a star volleyball player and date one of his father’s co-worker’s daughter Yuki and live their dream, or they start making life a living hell for the little tranny who’s merely a pest._

“So you came to me after that and told me we had to break up, you were getting together with Yuki who was a girl I had never heard of and that you didn’t want me to follow you to university, could you not have let me down easier?”

“Kenma I was scared, scared I wouldn’t be able to hide my parent’s contempt from you and that you would try do something to stop them, something that would put yourself in danger for me and you didn’t deserve that burden.”

“Why did you have to suffer though? What did you do to deserve that burden?”

Chair creaking back as he leans back on it, staring up at the sky as he thinks over the words as if it was his first time thinking about it, wondering about the reason behind the torment his parents had put him through. Knowing Kuroo like he does he probably hasn’t even spared a thought for himself in all of this, not caring about how his parents forced his hand and solely blaming himself for every single thing that came as a result.

“We had a pregnancy scare.”

“Huh?”

“Yuki thought she was pregnant and was so excited but all I could feel was this rising pit of despair, a sadness that made me choke and an exhausting amount of disgust that made it hard to even look at myself in the mirror. How could I raise a child with someone I didn’t love, bring someone innocent into this messed up situation when they didn’t deserve it.”

"Is that why you broke up?”

“She didn’t like me saying I didn’t want kids, raised a fit that had my parents paying attention to me for the first time in months and that didn’t end well either.”

Biting into the macaron that had been left leaning against his glass on the small plate, tasting the flavour as it entered his mouth and momentarily escaped the intense well of emotions coursing through him to just enjoy this little ounce of pleasure. All this time Kenma had been saying poor me look at what I have had to go through without sparing a thought at all for what Kuroo felt, too much anger and resentment.

Not knowing what else to do with the feeling that had fallen over them during the discussion Kenma gets out of his seat and before Kuroo can worry about him leaving, pulls him against him tight in an inescapable hug and runs his fingers through his hair. Apologizing for his behaviour recently and as he received another heartfelt apology in return, he could then sense the tears welling up, shirt wet as probably for the first time in a long time Kuroo allowed himself to break down.

With all he had gone through with his parents, with the girl who would have become his wife, with university and his commitment as a volleyball player, he had still found it in himself to think about his childhood sweetheart. Still regretted what he had to do and wished that things had been different, checked up on him on social media every now and again the few times Kenma posted about himself and his life.

It had been too painful and raw for Kenma, so he had never checked social media only to be met with cute photos of Kuroo and Yuki together sharing a life he had always dreamed about, which was why it was shocking that they had ended up at the same university. Fate obviously had a plan for them and managed to bring them back together even after all they went through together and both as individuals, they still had time to fix things.

“How about you come over to mine this Friday, we can play video games like we used to and order some pizza? Collect out thoughts over the next week and catch each other up on all we missed, I do forgive you and I don’t blame you but it still hurts and I think we need to start off as friends if that is okay with you?”

“Any chance to have you back in my life is more than enough for me, thank you for trusting me.”

“Thank you for loving me enough to hold on for so long.”

Each experience they shared after that shaped them and brought them closer together, friends who started watching Netflix movies on opposite ends of the couch and got closer until they cuddle on the couch under a blanket. Friends who sleep in opposite rooms to friends who sleep in the same bed pressed up against each other, toothbrushes in each other’s bathrooms and enough of their clothes in the others bedroom to basically live there.

Arduous work and some road bumps caused them to falter a little here and there, but they persevered, when his parents tried threats once again Kenma stood strong even in the face of transphobic remarks that broke his skin like old wounds reopening. However, he wasn’t alone facing a scary situation he had Kuroo who loved him just as much as he had when they were younger, they were able to face it together.

So, when Kenma pulled him down for a kiss in front of Kuroo’s parents and declared that they were together forever he couldn’t do much but swoon at his boyfriends’ confidence and brave attitude, it was an incredible experience. Finding someone who fit your life perfectly even when people tried to stand in their way they couldn’t be stopped, they finished university together and moved into a house using money earned through their collective hard work.

“I’m glad you came back for me.”

“Oh, Kenma I would do anything for you, I’m just glad you came back to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Check out my Twitter](https://t.co/oYvjcjfzmY)

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my Twitter](https://t.co/oYvjcjfzmY)


End file.
